Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
