Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
