My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
