i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
