Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
