eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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