I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
