i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
