Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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