she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize