So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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