Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize