And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
