Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize