Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
