super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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