Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
