Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize