I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
