I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
