The maid of honor just puked.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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