it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
