The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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