I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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