If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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