naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
