drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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