I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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