dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
