I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
