this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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