if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
