I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
