I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I forgot wine drunk hurts
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
