He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
