So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
