the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
