so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
