he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
