you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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