I heard we made out
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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