well you can't waste a boner
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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