SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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