I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
