She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize