I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
