I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
