Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
