i barfeds in our rink
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Even my vagina gasped.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
