things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
