so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
