ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
there is puke in my bra ... again
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