What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a search helicopter?!
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize