I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I've blown a few things in my day
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
