im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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