it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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