My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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