Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Terrible idea I love it
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
