Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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