Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
