Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
